Toolbox For Faith

I had left my Miami apartment shortly before 8:00 am to go to the church. Being Ash Wednesday, I was dressed like a pastor since we had a noon service. The main traffic jam in the mornings was Highway 1 known as the Jefferson Davis Highway. Most every day, I had to wait through three long light changes before getting through the intersection.

As I stopped, I noticed in my rearview mirror that the woman behind me was putting on her make up as she sat there. We finally moved again to near the railroad tracks that guarded the intersection. I glanced in the rearview mirror again and immediately braced myself for the collision. The driver was still putting on make up and did not realize I had stopped. My bumper immediately stopped her progress.

I stepped out of the car to see if there were any damage. As I walked to the back of my car, the woman got out of her car and her face went completely white when she saw me.

”Oh, my God! Oh, my God! It’s Ash Wednesday and I haven’t been to mass and I hit a priest. I hit a priest. Oh, my God, I hit a priest on Ash Wednesday.”

I tried to tell her that I wasn’t a priest but a Lutheran pastor but I couldn’t get in a word.

“Father, I promise I am going to mass. Forgive me. Forgive me.” She grabbed my hand and I thought that she was going to get on her knees on the asphalt as she asked forgiveness.

I used the hand to pull her upright and said, “Be at peace. I forgive you. And besides, there is really no damage to either car.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I’m going to mass. I wouldn’t miss mass on Ash Wednesday. I’m going to mass.”

“Bless you, my child.” I said as he got in her car. A friend who was a Catholic peace had told me how he usually added “my child.” I can still see the relief on her face.

As I opened my door, she put down her window and shouted, “I’m going to mass. I’m going to mass.”

We both drove off but I have never forgotten that morning when I had a collision with Catholic guilt.

The words we choose matter. Take a look at the language of your publications and see if the words you use truly express the theology you believe. Is it a “Budget” or an “Investment in Ministry Plan”? Do you have a “General Fund” or a “Ministry Fund”? Do you ask people to make a “pledge to a budget” or to “share their gifts with God”? Are you encouraging people to “pay their pledges” or to “give to support ministry”? Does your congregation “pay your benevolence to the Synod” or “give benevolence to support our shared ministry”? Are we asking people to be more “committed to the church” or are we encouraging people to “grow in their relationship with God”? The words we select to express our ideas communicate subtle, but important messages.

Here’s an example of a two possible “Welcome” statements that might appear in a bulletin. Each statement uses the word “Welcome”, but I think they communicate two vastly different attitudes.

“We welcome you to church today and we are glad that you decided to worship with us this morning. If you are visitor and are interested in membership in our congregation, please talk to the Pastor.”

Now compare those words of welcome to this approach, . . .

Welcome to St. Michael. May you experience the joy of God’s presence in our worship together this morning. If this is your first time worshiping at St. Michael, please be sure to fill out the “Welcome” sheet in the bulletin and place it in the offering plate, so Pastor John can get in touch with you.”

In the first example, the words selected create an “us/them” dynamic which makes it clear that anyone new is not a part of “our church”. The new worshiper is identified as a visitor and is invited to talk to the pastor if they are interested in joining the church. The implication of the “Welcoming” words in this example is pretty clear. If you aren’t already here, you are an outsider. You are visiting, which means you will only be here for a short time, and if you do decide that you would like to join us, then please talk to the unnamed pastor who can help you join our group.

In contrast, the second “Welcome” statement avoids the “us/them” dynamic completely and attempts to welcome the new worshiper to the community. The statements focuses on the joy of God’s presence in the midst of worship and invites the individual to share contact information so that the named pastor can get in touch with them. This statement of “Welcome” is designed to acknowledge the fact that you are a part of the community as soon as you walk in the door and hopes to encourage the new worshiper to allow the community to welcome them more fully in the future.

In addition to making an impression on new worshipers, these statements also make an impression on current worshipers. I’m convinced that over time, the community will adopt the language it hears from its leaders. If the leaders are consistently using community and welcoming language, then those words will become a part of the vocabulary of the congregation and will shape how individuals live and behaving in the community.

The words we choose matter. As the old saying goes - - say what you mean and mean what you say - - for if you do, it may go a long way toward building a stronger, healthier community of believers.

Connie was terrified! She had volunteered to speak before worship about a wonderful program in our congregation that is just getting started. Her speaking fears were immense but her belief in the program was stronger so she agreed to present a Mission Moment at the beginning of the service about the program.

I am still not sure exactly what happened but I ended up holding her hand during the entire presentation. I introduced her and realizing how nervous she was, gave her an encouraging hug. The next thing I knew, I was standing by her and holding her hand. In 40 years of ministry, this was a first. She said all the right things as we stood together.

Afterwards, I kept thinking about how important our ministry of presence can be. Just being there and holding hands, giving a hug or sharing tears can often be more supportive than any words. Holding Connie’s hand will always be my excellent reminder to not worry about the perfect words but that God can be present even when we say nothing—a ministry of presence.

A while back, I got a phone call from another Lutheran congregation in our area asking if they could have a copy of my job description. After I explained that I had a letter of call which outlined the ministry I was called to do, but not a job description detailing specific tasks, I offered to write down a few reflections on the role of a pastor. What follows is the reflection that I shared. You can download a pdf of the reflection here.

I do not have a job description. I have a Letter of Call which offers a general description of the ministry that the congregation has called me to do. The Letter of Call focuses on areas like preaching, sacramental leadership, worship leadership, pastoral care, lifting up the concerns of those in need, equipping others for service and sharing God’s love through word and deed.

One of the joys and challenges of being a pastor is that each day presents new opportunities for ministry and quite often, no two days or two weeks are the same. My week normally has a pattern. Typically, I lead worship and teach an adult class on Sunday mornings. I lead a Bible study and go to choir practice on Tuesdays. I write a sermon and prepare to teach my Sunday School class on Thursdays and Fridays. During the week, I make visits in the afternoons, go to ministry meetings in the evenings, oversee the business of the congregation in the mornings, coordinate with paid and volunteer staff at times convenient for them and engage in my own personal devotion and study. Add a funeral, hospital visitation, service project, a member or family experiencing a crisis, and/or synod event into the mix, and the entire structure of my week changes significantly. Seasons of the church year such as Lent and Christmas, require extra time for planning, preparation and services.

No pastor or congregation can be all things to all people, but thankfully as the Apostle Paul reminds us, “there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Corinthians 12:4-7). Pastoral ministry, at its best, is a partnership between God, God’s people in a particular place and a pastor. Each pastor has a unique set of gifts, competencies and passions and each congregation has an equally unique set of gifts, competencies, passions and mission opportunities. I believe that the key to creating a whole, healthy ministry is discovering and focusing on the ministries about which the pastor and the congregation are passionate and gifted. If you have a pastor who loves senior adults and a congregation full of seniors, then don’t try to start a youth group. Build a healthy senior adult ministry. If you invest time discovering your gifts, strengths and competencies, you will be able to begin to describe the ministry both the congregation and the pastor hope to accomplish and together you can then create a matrix by which to measure progress.

A word of caution about realistic expectations

Each person in a congregation has a set of expectations for their pastor. Many times, the congregations expectations are a compilation of all of these expectations added together, The result is that congregations expect pastors to be skilled worship leaders with inspiring sermons each Sunday, expert educators, compassionate caregivers, proficient small business administrators, fund-raisers, youth ministry specialists even when no youth are in the congregation, and public relations professionals while at the same time pleasing everyone. Pastors can be just as unrealistic. They expect members in congregations to be at least as pious as he or she is. They think that members should be keenly interested in reaching the unchurched, amazingly generous, conflict free and totally devoted to the church.

Neither set of expectations is realistic. Most pastors will bring a high degree of competency in one or two areas of ministry, a reasonable degree of competency in one to two other areas of ministry and very little competency in some areas of ministry. Most congregations are filled with ordinary people who come to church looking to share and receive community, compassion and hope. One way of looking at realistic and unrealistic expectations is to divide a sheet of paper into two columns. In one column put the expectations of what a pastor or congregation is to do and in the other column put the expectations of what the pastor or congregation is not to do. This can provide a concrete way for all parties involved to get a handle on the expectations. To me, a better way forward is to develop a shared vision for mission and then agree upon one or two ministry goals to be accomplished over the next year. I believe this approach is the healthiest and most effective way to undertake the ministry God is calling pastors and congregations to do.

When starting a call process, invest time in discovering the gifts of your congregation. An honest assessment of the ministry those gifts will allow you to accomplish will help you grow forward as a congregation. Don’t worry about what you think you are ‘supposed’ to do as a church, discover what God has gifted you to do, then look for a pastoral leader who has the gifts to help you build on your strengths and develop new strengths in the years to come.