Toolbox For Faith

A few helpful thoughts on welcome by Rev. Bill King, pastor at Luther Memorial Lutheran Church in Blacksburg, VA.

Last week Luther Memorial’s Visiting Theologian, Kristin Largen, shared many stimulating thoughts on inter-faith dialogue, but the quip I most remember was not specifically focused on that particular topic.  It was almost a throw-away line, “One hundred per cent of congregations say that they are welcoming, but most of the time that means they are welcoming to people just like them.”  When you stop to think about it, of course that is true.  Few people get up in the morning and say, “Today I am going to be unfriendly; I really want to communicate how little I care about other people.”  We all intend to be welcoming and friendly, yet that comes a lot more naturally when the other person looks, thinks, and acts like us.

Psychologists often observe that the message sent is not necessarily the message received.  What we say is not always what others hear.  Others may well perceive something different than we intend.  It’s easy for us to think we are reaching out to others when that is not how it feels to the strangers in our midst.  We think we are respecting their space; they feel ignored.  We think we are flashing a winsome smile; they feel like we are smirking in judgment.  We think we are opening our community to them; they feel the implicit condition for inclusion is their conforming to our way of doing things.

As an introvert I understand how hard it can be to cross the line and put yourself out there.  You are not sure exactly what to say.  Maybe there will be an awkward pause.  Some of us naturally have the gift of gab; those folks could engage a brick in stimulating conversation and make a skunk feel like an honored guest.  I envy people for whom welcoming is an instinct not a skill.  We do not all have that gift, but we can cultivate concern for those on the edges.  Hospitality is less about techniques than about caring.

In the gospels Jesus heals a woman with an issue of blood.  We don’t know what exactly her problem is; all we know is that she is embarrassed and feels shame because of her ailment.  She sneaks up behind Jesus, touches his garment, and immediately experiences healing.  We call this a miracle story, but I have always thought the miracle is that in the mist of a crushing crowd, Jesus noticed that soft, fearful touch. In fact, it is not so much a miracle as an example of how Jesus was attuned to those on the margins, the folks who were not sure they belonged.

That awareness of a hardly expressed need is the first step to being genuinely welcoming.  This week, at worship—or wherever you spend most of your days—look around.  Is there someone on the margins who might be hoping for an unambiguous expression of interest and welcome?

I just started reading Dr. Rich Melheim’s new book, “Holding Your Family Together” and as usual he has some really helpful suggestions for building families of faith.  The new book proposes five steps that can be added to life of any family and gives helpful instructions about how those steps can be added.  His five steps are: Share, Read, Talk, Pray and Bless.  If you’ve used any of the Faith Inkubators materials or been to any of his workshops, you’ll see how this book is building upon his previous work, but I definitely think this can be a helpful resource for any family or congregation that wishes to be intentional about faith-building in the home.

Here’s a wonderful talk by Dan Pallotta on why we should rethink how we invest in charitable giving and fundraising.  He challenges many of the basic assumptions about the “right” way to raise money and makes a compelling case that it is time to change.  Thanks to David Derrick for sharing it with me.

http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pallotta_the_way_we_think_about_charity_is_dead_wrong.html

Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson have written a very interesting book called Rework with ideas on leadership and business based on their experience.  A few of their ideas struck me as particularly applicable to church structures, so I compiled a few of the most interesting and particular helpful ideas and printed them below.  The page numbers denote where you will find these quotations in the hardback copy of the book.   The book is a quick read and I’d recommend it.  If you like what they have to say, you can read their blog at: http://37signals.com/svn/.

Plans more than a few pages long just wind up as fossils in your filing cabinet.  Give up the guesswork.  Decide what you’re going to do this week, not this year. (Pg. 20)

Start making smaller to-do lists too.  Long lists collect dust. . . . Long lists are guilt trips. . . . Break that long list down into a bunch of smaller lists. . . . Whenever you can, divide problems into smaller and smaller pieces into until you are able to deal with them completely and quickly.  Simply rearranging your tasks this way can have an amazing impact on your productivity and motivation. (Pg. 127)

When you put off decisions, they pile up.  And piles end up ignored, dealt with in haste, or thrown out.  As a result, the individual problems in those piles stay unresolved. . . . You want to get into the rhythm of making choices.  When you get in that flow of making decision after decision, you build momentum and boost morale.  Decisions are progress. . . . The problem comes when you postpone decisions in the hope that a perfect answer will come to you later.  It won’t.  You’re as likely to make a great call today as you are tomorrow. (Pg. 77)

Momentum fuels motivation.  It keeps you going.  It drives you.  Without it, you can’t go anywhere.  If you aren’t motivated by what you’re working on, it won’t be very good.  The way you build momentum is by getting something done and then moving on to the next thing. . . .  Small victories let you celebrate and release good news. . . . When there’s something new to announce every two weeks, you energize your team and give your customers something to be excited about.  So ask yourself, “What can we do in two weeks?”  And then do it. (Pg. 115-116)

Don’t make up problems you don’t have yet.  It’s not a problem until it’s a real problem.  Most of the things you worry about never happen anyway. Besides the decisions you make today don’t need to last forever . . . . Decisions are temporary. (Pg. 251)

Policies are organizational scar tissue.  They are codified overreactions to situations that are unlikely to happen again.  They are collective punishment for the misdeeds of an individual. . . . Don’t create a policy because one person did something wrong once.  Policies are only meant for situations that come up again and again. (Pg. 260)

You don’t create a culture.  It happens. . . . Culture is the by-product of consistent behavior.  If you encourage people to share, then sharing will be built into your culture.  If you reward trust, then trust will be built in.  If you treat customers right, then treating customers right becomes your culture. . . . Culture is action, not words. (Pg. 249)

You make friends very quickly in a surgical waiting room.  I arrived at Providence Hospital in Columbia, SC. around 6:15 a.m. for my wife’s Cheryl’s open heart surgery and even though I had breakfast after they took her, I was in the waiting room before 8:00 a.m.  Seated three chairs away was a woman whose husband I learned quickly was undergoing the same surgery.  She told me that they were from New York and had moved to Columbia six months before.  People came and went but we were both in the room until long after the 7:00 p.m. Cardiac Recovery Room visitation began.

She had five people come and be with her during the day.  After the last one had left, she told me that all were from her church.  “They are my family.  I do not know what I would do without them.  They have been unbelievably supportive.  I have no other family here and my mother will not be here until after my husband gets home.”

I talk often about our church family because I firmly believe that a church should be a family centered around the love of God.  We are all ages with many different backgrounds.  We are family not because of anything we do or the fact that we all always believe the same things.  We are united in the love of God.

In our Sunday School class, we have just finished a study of the book of Acts.  The early Christians described in Acts became united not because everyone was a Jew but because they came together through the Holy Spirit in their mission to share God’s love.  They sometimes fought. They sometimes made excellent mistakes.  Most of the time, they had difficulty trying to live out what it meant to be a follower of Christ.  Yet, St Paul begins many of his letters by thanking God for the people who would read his letter–they were united in God’s love.  I pray that we will always give thanks to God for his love and then give thanks for each other, being supported by our church family.

The tax reporting for most of our church employees is handled with a standard W-2 and for the last several years, we have been using the government’s online system to print and file the forms.  You can access the system through the Business Services Suite at the Social Security website.  Once you get over the fact that you have to agree to the statement which says, “I know if I lie that I’m going to jail.”, then it simple and easy to use.  Everything is handled online.  The forms for the employees and church can be printed and then everything is filed with the IRS online.

Every now and then we need to provide a 1099 to someone.  Typically, I forget to order the form from the IRS far enough in advance which means I either have to purchase a pack or try and get a local company to give me an extra one.   I recently discovered an online service, Prepare1099.com, that let’s you fill out, print and file 1099s online.  Unlike the Social Security site, this site isn’t free, but if I’m reading it correctly the cost for one form is about $3.85.  Unfortunately, I didn’t find it in time to use the site this year, but I’m definitely going to check it out for 2013.

I believe that it is important to discover ways to connect giving with the ministry that is being accomplished.  As many people have said - - people give to mission, not to budgets.  I realize that in some congregations, budget language is firmly entrenched, but ultimately, what we are talking about is not the constraints of a budget, but the ways that we can invest the gifts of God to accomplish the ministry of God.

With that in mind, our congregation has an “Investment in Ministry Plan,” not a budget.  In our meetings and conversations, the leadership avoids the word “budget” and always speaks in ministry terms.  It may seem small, but it sets a helpful tone and serves as a reminder of what we are called to be about.

In addition to being careful with our language, we try our best to help people see the ministry.  We add pictures of people engaged in ministry to our financial reports.  We include a note in every newsletter listing ministries supported by the giving on the congregation.  We create a special a thank you note highlighting a particular ministry which is placed in every giving statement we send out.   These simple approaches have been well received by the congregation and we have seen continued growth in support for the ministries of our congregation.

A few weeks ago, Jack Palzer, pastor of Calvary Lutheran Church in Ruskin, Florida, shared an idea that I am trying during the weeks after Easter.  Jack suggested drawing the connection between ministry and giving in worship during the offering.  Instead of simply receiving the offering and giving thanks with a standard prayer, why not take a moment each week to mention a specific ministry supported by that offering.  Obviously, the application of this idea will need to be tailored to each congregation and each service, but I look forward to seeing how people respond to having giving and ministries lifted up in this way in worship.

A thought on worship from Dr. Kennon Callahan.  He share this at the Mission Leaders Network Seminar for Key Leaders in February 2013.

“Worship begins the week.  It launches the week to come.  Worship doesn’t happen as the last day of the week as a summary.  We worship to know where we are heading for the coming week.  Easter happens on the first day of the week.  It’s a beginning time.  If you have a service of worship that focuses on summarizing the week that has been, you are missing the purpose of Easter - the purpose of worship - to launch the mission ahead.  It is a beginning time.”

In today’s world, people want to make a difference.  If you offer people an opportunity to engage in a ministry that makes a difference in the world that has clearly defined goals and solid integrity, there are countless friends, neighbors, and community members who will be happy to help.  Here are a few thoughts on building meaningful and effective community based ministries.

1. Start with an idea that makes a difference.  Listen carefully to the community to gather clues to what God is calling you to do.  If you go to a school, ask what they need, don’t tell them what you want to do.
2. Gather passionate people to discuss the idea and gifted in the area you which to address.  These people may not be a part of your current worshiping community, but they are present around you and will help if you ask.  Don’t ask them to join the church.  Ask them to help the school.  Witness to your faith by actively loving your neighbor.
3. Pick a date to start and work backwards to create a time-line.  Act quickly.  You can only steer a ship and correct a course once the ship is moving.  You will never perfect your idea before you start, so as soon as you are almost, mostly ready - get going.  Start with good and work to great.
4. Empower members of the team to work use their gifts.  Assign roles and trust that people will accomplish their part of the ministry.
5. Start small and celebrate victories within the congregation and the community.  The need may be tremendous, but by starting small, you can learn from your mistakes, adjust to unexpected learnings and building on your success to scale up.
6. Say “Thank you”.  Say “Thank you” again.  Say “Thank you” one more time.
7. Tell the story to anyone and everyone who will listen.  Take pictures.  Produce reports highlighting what is being accomplished.  You are not bragging.  You are celebrating what God has done.
8. Open multiple giving doors.  Many people would like to help you share compassion.  Make it easy for them to be generous.
9. Say “Thank you”.  Say “Thank you” again.  Say “Thank you” one more time.
10. Continue to do what God has gifted you to do.  Don’t worry about trying and do the things you think you should do.  Help new groups gather and use their gifts to address new ministry opportunities.

Here are a couple of thoughts about a grace filled Easter that Dr. Kennon Callahan shared at the February 2013 Seminar for Key Leaders.

People who have experience the grace of God are people of hospitality.

We practice hospitality with others because God is hospitable with us.

When we are in worship, we experience the initiating grace of God with us.

Easter 2013 Possibilities for Simple Acts of Grace

(pick two that you’d have fun doing)

1.  Do something with your sign for Easter 2013

- Special event sign, new sign, repair, paint, flowers, clean, etc.

- Series of signs from the children that help people to know Easter joy

2.  Seasonal Landscaping -

- Most churches do Lilies inside, what sort of outside seasonal landscaping could we do?

3.  Adequate parking

- Have staff park farther from the building on Easter Sunday?

- Take picture of your parking spaces and post it on Facebook?

4.  Doors, open . . . accessible

- Have someone present to open the door for folks who are coming in?

If we can’t do the little acts of grace, we’ll never figure out how to do the big acts of grace.